For the last eight years, family values based conservatives have tried every faith-based initiative, every tax incentive, ever educational policy possible, in an attempt to lower the divorce rate in this country and restore the nuclear family. All these efforts, and half the country was divorced.
Recently, the key to long marriages became far more obvious: financial dependence. Apparently, for the first time in many years divorce lawyers are begging for business. According to CNN, when the economy sucks, your marriage seems great in comparison. Now, people seem to be staying together to avoid divorce settlements, the splitting of assets, and of course lawyers fees.
And not only that, these would be divorcees are cheating less and less. And if they are, their spouses can't afford to catch them. In fact, private investigators have taken a hit as well. And with less money to spend on fancy restaurants and weekend getaways, cheaters are left to sit around on the couch with their mistresses. With all the fun taken out of forbidden romances, you might as well be watching the boob tube with your wife. Who would have thought.