Monday, March 23, 2009

conversation nonstarters

So last night Steven Ward, the arbiter of tough love, the wunderkind nurtured at his mother's matchmaking teet, or as I like to fondly think of him a poor man's Joey Tribbiani, gave the girls advice about the do's and don'ts of the first date conversation. Now, I haven't been on a first date in a while, but it seems that if you follow his rules, or any of the excepted notions of dating etiquette, conversations are apt to be quite boring.

Here's the don'ts...
No religion, No politics, No Sex, No Past issues, No bragging, No job talk. ( There's probably more but this is all I remember.)

Here's what I like to talk about on a first date...

Religion
Particularly, whether it should exist at all, once in a conversation I referred to Durkheim's theory of religion, as a means for regulating social order, and the guy I was talking to told me he had not read enough books on the subject, and promptly ended the conversation.

Politics
This is my favorite, and the one that gets me into the most trouble, but I like a little trouble.

Sex
I don't think it's necessary to talk about your own sex life, but sex in general is fascinating, Whether it's about sex dolls fetishists or bisexual tribal behavior in Africa, I think sex talk is always surprising and a good way to see how open-minded people are.

Past Issues
I love to analyze everyone I meet and find out what makes them tick, what they're most afraid of, what they want to out of life, I'm often pretty good at getting it out of people, even if it means revealing my own stories.

Your job/bragging
You spend eight hours a day at your job, and if your job is interesting you should be able to talk about it. If it's boring, talk about other people.

Here's my other top conversation starters, movies, books, plays, writing, art, traveling, strange trends, surprising news and anything that I have yet experience, but someone knows way more about then me.

And here's my nonstarters...
The Weather ( of course)
Who I know and who you know
Bars and which ones I've been to/haven't been to/need to go to
What you do on the weekend if it only consists of clubs and the gym
What you ate for breakfast
How many sisters/brothers you have unless one is an evil twin
Your major in college unless I would never guess it by looking at you
What pets you have, have had, and would like to have
What you're looking for in a person, because everyone is looking for someone smart, attractive, funny, easygoing, and great for watching a movie with/or going out drinking, unless you say your looking for a feisty fire-eating burlesque dancing kindergarten teacher/ practicing Scientologist, I'm not one, but at least that would be something new.
.... Oh and no, you're hot, you're pretty, or I'm really attracted to you right now.

I loathe small talk, which makes it hard for me to have conversations with a lot of people. But, those people that get me started on something that makes me think, or laugh, or pause for a second, I'll keep talking to for hours.

I would pretty much fail Steve Ward's conversation testers right away if put a buzzer on me (like he did to the girls on the show) I'd be experiencing electric shock. But honestly, if our nonstarters aren't the same, then it wouldn't work out anyway.

1 comment:

  1. bhaahaahaha wow. you read my mind.

    ReplyDelete