Friday, February 20, 2009

How to Anger a Millionaire Matchmaker

This season, Patti Stanger seems to be perpetually enraged. Perhaps, the network told her hysterical women=ratings (thanks Bridezillas) but in the last two episodes she's been on a rampage. So what is it, that makes Patti's blood boil?

1. Curly hair. Apparently all curly hair is damaged, unsightly, and a key indicator of a women's inability to bear viable offspring, to all of the male species. And don't even get Patti started on short hair. Extensions girls. Crazy eyes followed by exasperated sigh. Extensions!!!!!!

2. Misuse of Cleavage. Last season, Patti couldn't get enough of it. This season, she's seething at the sight of it. What's a boob to do?

3. Ageism. This is an epidemic. According to Patti, no man will ever be attracted to a woman over the age 30 without her trusted guidance. (This factoid, of course, is  in no way biased by Patti's own experiences.)

4. Talking about sex, politics, and religion. Recommended conversation...what do you like to do.... I like to travel... Me too... Do you like food....I like food...we have so much in common... I love you.

5. Everyone. Yes, everyone who doesn't recognize that Patti Sanger is the preeminent source on long-lasting love, dating etiquette, and what makes the "penis go up."

so watch out.


  1. I LOVE Patty and her non-stop antics. What is even more entertaining then her obnoxious rules and guidelines, is when the girls show up to their official dates or "mixers" having failed to do anything Patty instructed (i.e. leave the hair curly or do not wear a push up bra). I am curious as what Patty's supposed 99% success rate is based on. Do most of these couples really end up living happily ever after, 9 out of 10 times?

  2. I think Patty seems awfully bitter and loosely based on The Wedding Planner's plot. When will Matthew McConaughey sweep her off her feet in a slightly twisted plot of true love via the death of another wrapped with a nice commercial bow?

  3. Anyone else feel she is biased against anyone who is not Jewish?

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