Wednesday, April 15, 2009

how to work like a real housewife

Last night Bravo felt it necessary to inform us that "real housewives" in New York actually work. In fact, apparently every last housewife has an incredibly time consuming schedule, made up of arduous pet projects that only they are qualified to supervise.

Jill occasionally comes into her husband's fabric store, gabs with some gays, and chases her monstrous puppy around. The customers look on in awe at her remarkable salesmanship. After a hard days work she returns to her newly redecorated home appointed, in of course, Zarins Fabrics. The overwhelming display of clashing fabrics leads to a crippling case of vertigo, she collapse on her hideously fabriced couch. But alas tomorrow she must get up and do it all again, with no reward other than 12,000 dollar handbags and Mercedes SUVS.

Ramona is designing a skincare line, so that everyone can look as wonderful as her. Every women deserves it dammit. The packaging looks like yellow goo and the product is called Tru renewal, because when you do what you love you don't have to be able to spell. Oh apparently she has a t-shirt line too it's very bedazzledly.

The Countess makes a career of being a countess, including about book of class with countess. She spends her day pondering whether the title of the book should actually be Countess de Lessepps. Unfortunately the title will now have to be changed to Class with LuAnn.

Bethenney seems to be the only housewife that has to work. Forced to shell her no wheat, no dairy cupcakes at the local grocery store, Bethenney is this week's average joe. Best part, at one point she said her new dating rules consists of her vagina being like a vase. I.e. if you sleep with me get me flowers. Bethenney may be the only one that actually understand the "working" girl's life, being the lowly underdog of the bunch.

Kelly has the best job of all this episode. She supervises a jewelry line, that consists of hideous owl creatures. She calls her collection something "Jackie O would have worn." I, for one, think it's wrong to speak ill of the dead. Sometimes I wish Kelly should take a long run into oncoming traffic. Oh wait she already does.

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