It's my Party and I cry if I want to

These days there's a lot more bad news in the world than good. Yet, we spend 99% of our boozing celebrating happy things. Since not many happy things have been happening to me lately, I fully embrace the new trend of less traditional romps. From depression parties, to funemployment bbqs, the best thing to do when you're down and out is drink and eat cake. Above all, eat cake.

The recent growth of the divorce party industry doesn't surprise me at all. Over 50% of marriages end in divorce, why not celebrate the getting ditched as well as the getting hitched? Women all over the country are throwing craptastic ceremonies to mark the demise of their crappier marriages, and I think it's wonderful. As we get older, and life passes us by, there's far less momentous occasions to mark, so why not make Mike's Hard Lemonade out of Lemons.