Friday, May 15, 2009

Kelly Bensimone is full of fertilizer

I never posted about Real Housewives reunion part I, but that's because I was eagerly awaiting the showdown during Part II. So here goes, what I learned about the Real Housewives during the most bombastic BRAVO reunion special I've ever seen.

Ramona is incredibly bored when someone talks about anything other than herself, forcing her to fidget, jump around, and attempt unrequited high fives.

Kelly is in fact not Madonna, she is mother theresa, once she got a gold star for playing nice nice with the other five years olds at camp. 

Ramona doesn’t like being called crazy eyes, in fact it makes her get all kinds of crazy.

The Count is kind of a douchebag, rendering the Countess somewhat sympathetic.

Kelly Bensimone practices her SAT words before every appearance, only to fumble them, stare blankly, and resort to calling everyone Awesome.

Kelly Bensimone wants everyone to Stop. Just Stop. They don't.

Now that Jill has her boobs done, she no longer feels it is socially unacceptable not to wear a bra. Ramona thinks she should check the social register on that one.

Bethany and Kelly are “totally different” and yet “ the same”.  They could have been BFF's they just could have, dammit.

The Countess thinks Kelly avoids her at parties because she is jealous of her. Countess come on, that’s like being jealous of Ramona.

Alex is surprisingly skilled at translating burnt out bimbo to snarky wise-ass.

Alex is likeable?

Betteney will not jello wrestle Kelly, unless the jello is fat free, gluten free, and taste free.

Kelly can’t wear a bra.

The Countess does not think she is better than everyone just Alex, Kelly, and Ramona. And don’t we all?


  1. and Kelly won "most charitable" award when she was 15. That's an important fact, don't forget it.

  2. I hope Kelly doesn't come back. She is an ego maniac self centered idiot. Ramona needs drugs and Alex needs to leave her husband at home I'm gagging on them already. She looked shook in that limo when he went off on her birthday. I think he muscles her around myself~!

  3. Alex needs to muzzle her about out of control and bad parenting and stop with the french language and Francois being able to count to whatever in 7 languages. Are they ever going to try discipline??

  4. i heart Betteney

    jill is awesome

    alex and simon drive me nuts, and i think simon is just in deniel about being gay

    the countess is a classy lady, i dont care what else is said about her but thats all i have to say

    ramona and kelly drive me up the wall